Reasons
by Epitome of Randomness
Summary: There are lots of good reasons why I don't talk...Fang muses over his silence through the series. Spoilers MR1-MR3, Fax. Part of the Silence series.


There are a lot of reasons why I don't talk

**So this is my second MR fic. It's Fangs POV…uh, enjoy! Mild spoilers for the first three books.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dude, not James Patterson.**

**Reasons. **

There are a lot of reasons why I don't talk.

A ton.

I just don't know why.

They're good reasons, I can tell you that.

In the School, it was easier not to talk. If you told the whitecoats it hurt, they'd just ignore you. So what was the point? If you told them about problems you were having, maybe if your wings hurt, or with your eyes…well, we all know what happened to Iggy. None of us wanted the whitecoats near our eyes.

And sometimes, after hours and hours of testing, when they'd throw me back into the cage…well, it was easier not to open my mouth. If I opened my mouth, I probably would've burst into tears.

And then…crying made the Erasers come. And hurt you more.

So it was easier to just shut up.

And then when Jeb broke us out…I tried to bury the bad memories, but you know. It was my _life. _I couldn't bury it.

So I didn't want to talk about it. And I didn't like talking. I didn't like using my voice…hearing it inside a room…it had the same sort of sound as a dog crate. It just reminded me too much of the School.

So I didn't talk much. Max didn't mind. Iggy had Gazzy, and of course Nudge had Angel and Max. I had Max too.

We had each other, in a weird, silent way. Just me and Max

And then when the Erasers came. Just seeing them, knowing that the School would never be completely out of our lives…it reminded me, talking brought pain.

So I still didn't talk while we were after Angel. As we got closer and closer to the school, I talked less and less. I concentrated on the hawks.

I'd always wanted to fly like that when I was in the School. When we were allowed out into the fenced in, wire covered yard outside, I'd just sit and watch the birds.

It was easier to pretend I was up there, in the blue sky with them. Talking would've brought me back down to the ground, in our giant cage.

So I didn't talk in the cave with Nudge. I know she wanted to talk about the hawks, but I was happier watching them. And flying with them. It was like I was finally out of the cage.

And as we all know, I hate cages.

And then, when we'd just been at the ocean…and we were happy for the first time in ages…I was ready to tell her. Max, I mean. And of course, the Erasers came along.

I thought I was going to die. I was going to walk into the light and become an angel. I couldn't help but wonder, later, if I'd get to keep my black wings. I didn't look good in white.

Max was doing her leader thing, making the others get water, whispering to herself. And then she kissed me.

And I said the most random, stupid thing I've ever said. Instead of admitting the feelings I've had for eight damned years, instead of kissing her back, I did something I never do. I said 'ow.'

And then, when we saw those flying Erasers…woah. The sky had been ours, just ours, for so long. It was wolf-man free, whitecoat free, experiment free.

I always opened up a bit more in the sky. I could think clearer, but only Angel would know that. I could think about the future, something I could barely do on the ground, the Flocks future, my future, Max's future. Our future.

I was always so happy, up in the sky with my thoughts that I never needed to talk. The rest of the Flock knew that. So I didn't talk when we were flying.

And then, when Max was on the beach, covered in her own blood…I don't think I've ever said anything that close to how I feel. You die when we die. Very action hero of me. I had so many more things to say to Max, but she was a little busy.

So I did the silent thing. I held her.

And the Flock knew none of us wanted to talk, and at that moment I think they all realised what Max and I had known all along: Max wasn't invincible. But she was the closest thing to it.

And then when were in the cage, in that field. Well, there were a lot of things I wanted to say, years of stuff. I wanted to scream them. I still do, a little.

But I still have that thing about cages. And we were a little preoccupied to be having a quiet talk. Max had taken us through the plan.

But when she yelled for Ari, I nearly fell out of the sky.

I really, really, _really_ wanted to scream how I felt at her, but I doubt she would've heard. So I did something unusual. I yelled at her.

That was about as vocal as I had gotten since…ooh, ever?

And then…when I saw Max on the beach after she'd come back from Germany…while she was scarfing down doughnuts…after we'd had a tearful reunion, of course….I whispered those four words. The four words I've wanted to say for so long.

I love you, Max.

She didn't hear me, of course, nobody did.

But I'd said them out loud. And that was a start.

**So, whatcha think? I wrote this the same way I wrote Prayer-I was rereading School's Out Forever and I went…'Wow, Max is right…Fang never talks….I wonder why?'**

**I'll put the creation story on my profile, if anyone cares.**

**Yeah.**

**Thanks for reading, reviews would be mucho appreciated.**

**Lotsa Love,**

**Nicola.**


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